June 2019 - 9 months without Ben “Those who go through the darknessNever come out the sameAnd it’s true what they sayThat it takes a part of you awayBut what many will never understandIs that it leaves something in returnA strength that will never breakAnd...
‘Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness.’ ⁃ Desmond Tutu My third December without our darling Ben and this one will definitely go down on record as being the weirdest - not just for me but for everyone. I...
October 2020 How many times have you thought ‘I can’t do this any more!!’ How often has the pain in your heart hurt so much that you don’t want to get out of bed and face another day - the sadness so overwhelming you feel you can’t...
September 2020 It’s almost two years since 7th October 2018 - the day that Ben suddenly left us - and I’m still trying to get used to heaving around this crippling and hideous burden of loss. I can honestly say it doesn’t get any easier! I...
January 2020 - almost 16 months without Ben ‘Hold on to the love, not the loss’ - Eva Longoria I was trying to explain to a friend how Ben’s death is a bit like permanently living with the horrible gut feeling you get when you’ve lost...
Morgan Harper Nichols I’ve been thinking a lot about the big defining moments that suddenly alter our course of life - some positive and some definitely not! Often these moments stop us in our tracks and are so significant that we remember every little detail - where...
March 2019 - 20 weeks without Ben! “This is the big scary truth about trauma: there is no such thing as ‘getting over it’. The five stages of grief model marks universal stages in learning to accept loss, but the reality is in fact much bigger:...
Have you ever felt like a car that seems to be running on the bare minimum of fuel? That you’re functioning - but only just? That your wings can’t carry your weight (quote above). That you’re treading water and going through the motions of living...
‘You don’t know how much one life can alter your entire existence until you’ve had to bury your child.’ - Ruqayya Gibson February 2019 - 18 weeks without Ben. This journal is long and disjointed. It’s an overview of the past eighteen weeks since Ben died. Rambled dark...