7th October 2018 our youngest son Ben died from cardiac arrest (SADS – Sudden Arrhythmic Death Syndrome). He was twenty five.
One moment life was normal, then it wasn’t.
One moment we had a complete family, then we didn’t.
In just one moment our beautiful safe world unravelled and irreversibly changed for ever.
‘I used to think things like this only happened to someone else…
Now I know – we’re all someone else to someone else!’
There are no words to describe the devastating unbearable pain. The loss of a child leaves a massive hole in our world. Nothing will ever be the same. It can’t be. And trying to find the strength to keep living with a broken shattered heart is almost impossible. All we can do is let love guide us as we take one day at a time – carrying them in our hearts – every minute of every day!
I write to try and make sense of a reality that will probably never feel real – to put jumbled thoughts into words and accept something that will always feel wrong. Our children are simply not meant to die before us! I guess writing stops me from going completely crazy!
Connecting with others has been an unexpected gift. The invisible and magnetic bond between grief parents is priceless. Just knowing we’re not alone helps.
It would be an honour to walk with you on this agonising journey – one that we certainly didn’t choose, definitely don’t want and could never have anticipated!
Please feel free to use my Facebook page to keep in touch. I’d love to hear from you. @theonemoment2020
With love
(NB please use the menu bar above to find more blogs etc)
Scrolling through social media I came across this little quote and was blown away by the mountain of truths hidden behind the few simple words. So much so that I felt compelled to write about it – throwing in the odd snippet from my own......
01 June, 2026
October 2025 The other day my husband and I were relaxing quietly in the same room – I looked up and saw we were both crying. I’m sharing this as a reminder that men (dads, brothers, husbands, friends…) cry too. It’s been seven years since......
01 November, 2025
March 2025 I started my current job late August 2018 and just weeks later on October 7th the unthinkable happened – our youngest son Ben suddenly died. He was twenty five, fit, healthy and very adventurous but went into cardiac arrest as he crossed the......
31 March, 2025
26th January 2025 “I know this: there is no sense to grief. There is no pattern or shape or texture, and there are no books or stories which can lessen the pain of losing a person you have loved, and will always love. There are......
30 January, 2025
6 years without Ben October 2024 “grief is love. and it is also panic. screaming. guilt. isolation. empty spaces. unspoken names. unwanted goodbyes. photographs missing faces. homes missing laughter. waiting for a dream. getting a nightmare instead. stolen memories. endless tears. endless aching. made from......
30 October, 2024
Extract from my journal: Ben’s birthday April 2024 Trying to celebrate the birth date of a child who is no longer here is harder than hard. Instead of getting easier as the years go by I actually think it gets more complex and difficult to......
23 April, 2024