7th October 2018 our youngest son Ben died from sudden cardiac arrest (SADS). He was twenty five.
One moment life was normal, then it wasn’t.
One moment we had a complete family, then we didn’t.
One moment changed everything!
‘I used to think things like this only happened to someone else…
Now I know – we’re all someone else to someone else!’
Grief hurts. The loss of our special person leaves a massive hole in our world. Nothing will ever be the same. It can’t be. And trying to find the strength to keep living with a broken shattered heart is almost impossible. All we can do is let love guide us as we take one day (even one minute) at a time – carrying them in our hearts – always and forever!!
Losing a child was something I couldn’t even bear thinking about – then one day it happened. So I write to try and understand a reality that will probably never feel real – to put jumbled thoughts into words and make sense of something that just feels so wrong – our children are simply not meant to die before us! I guess writing probably stops me from going crazy!
Connecting with others who share this agonising grief has been an unexpected gift. The invisible and magnetic bond between grief parents is priceless. Hurting hearts hurting together.
It would be an honour if you would join me on this agonising journey – one that we certainly didn’t choose, definitely don’t want and could never have anticipated!
Please feel free to use my Facebook page to keep in touch. I’d love to hear from you. @theonemoment2020
With love
Extract from my journal: Ben’s birthday April 2024 Trying to celebrate the birth date of a child who is no longer here is harder than hard. Instead of getting easier as the years go by I actually think it gets more complex and difficult to......
23 April, 2024
March 2024 You should still be here – it’s as simple as that! Children are not meant to die before their parents. Brothers and sisters are not meant to lose a sibling. Grandparents are not meant to have to support their child through the death......
26 March, 2024
‘And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.’1 Corinthians 13:13 Thank God for love – the precious gift not even death can take from us. The thing that remains long after our special person has left this......
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January 2024 Ben’s sudden death was our family’s epochal moment – and not in a good way. It changed the course of our lives. In the blink of an eye everything looked different, felt different and will always be different. However, something I never expected......
20 November, 2023
7th October 2023 Five years ago today, Paul took this precious photo of Ben as he came towards us, smiling his beautiful smile; brushing our hands with his fingers. His last living touch. Five years ago today Ben asked me to message deep heat into......
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“I miss you, not just once in a while, but every minute of every day. I miss your smile, your beautiful soul. I miss you in the quiet moments, and in the crowded rooms filled with laughter. But most of all, I miss the joy......
04 September, 2023